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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What Does It Feel Like?

On the message boards that I keep up with about pregnancy, one girl posted a topic "what does it feel like?" I guess a friend of hers that wanted to get pregnant asked her this question about what it feels like to be pregnant. This got me thinking, I had always wondered the same thing before, while thinking about what it feels like, it reminded me how lucky I am to be having Bryce, even with all of the aches and pains an being sick, to know that he is on his way soon and every movement that he makes, no matter what time of day or what I'm doing or how much it hurts, is wonderful.

I had just always assumed I guess that it would be easy first of all, to get pregnant, second to stay pregnant and have a happy healthy baby. Because of this, I took it for granted when we first found out about our first pregnancy last year, I quickly learned that there are not always happy endings, there is heartache and pain and you find out more about yourself than you ever thought you would ever know and I found myself in a deep dark place. Thankfully with God and family and friends, and baby Bryce, things are wonderful.

Now... What does it feel like? (to me)

1. Even from the very beginning I felt like I had been run over by a semi truck! Nauseated and just felt icky and had not an ounce of energy.

2. Bloated... I didnt like that, my jeans didnt fit very early on because of this, it was disturbing to me!

3. Emotional... I am usually a pretty emotional person, but now (especially the last couple of weeks! Sorry Tim!) it doesnt take but the slightest thing to make me cry! Whether they are happy or sad or worried tears!! I never knew I could have emotions to so many things!

4. Hunger... wow, I think once 16 weeks came around, I felt like I could not get enough food! I finally wasnt throwing up and felt like human being with some energy and all I could think about was 'what am I going to eat next? or if we were going somewhere am I going to be able to stop and eat?'

5. Crazy... I feel like I am losing my mind at some points during the day. I am usually clumsy and forgetful, but this is just ridiculous! It scares me at work sometimes because I do work with sharp instruments in peoples mouths! But I have become horrible at filling out charts, I need to triple check everything and I still miss stuff!

6. This probably ties into emotions, but worried constantly, it could be anything from 'is this going to hurt Bryce?' to 'am I going to be able to care for this child once he is here?' I am still worried that I wont have a clue what I'm doing when he gets here and I am going to completely mess him up!

7. Painful... it hurts to walk most of the time, my hips hurt like they have been smashed with a sledge hammer, it is probably pretty funny to watch me walk! Also, it hurts to sleep on my sides with out pain, but i cant sleep on my back or stomach, so i just deal!

8. The need to pee constantly (sorry TMI!) is outrageous, now he has his head positioned directly on top of my bladder I think because he just presses as hard as he can and twists his head! At that point, you HAVE to find a bathroom.

9. Lack of sleep... no one tells you this, all you hear about is "try to get as much sleep and rest now before the baby comes" No matter how exhausted I am and I want to sleep, it is hard to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time recently, between the bathroom trips, hip pain and trying to maneuver this big body into a comfortable position in bed. By the time you do fall asleep, its time to wake up for work! Sooooo not fair!!!

10. Thankful, Grateful and extremely blessed by God... self explanitory.

Thank you to those of you who read this post, it was probably too much information than some wanted to know, but I needed to get it out!

3 comments:

Emily Tenner said...

I loved reading your thoughts on this!! It IS such a blessing, but you are right, there is alot people don't tell you about And I'm thankful you wrote this! We're so excited for y'all and are praying for you, for Bryce and for Tim to make it through these last few months! Just think, this time next year, you'll be getting ready to put Bryce into his 1st Halloween costume! So cute!! :-) Cannot wait to see y'all and meet Bryce!

Unknown said...

Steph - you are too sweet. After the aches and pains, you still find a moment to be thankful. Little Bryce will be such a blessing to you and Tim. Take my word for it, the "bad" memories of pregnancy go away quickly. I remember the "special" times when I could feel my babies kick and turn. I almost hated to give that up because for that short miraclous time, they belonged to only me. Enjoy, but we still can't wait to meet Bryce! Love, Evelyn

Corpus Christi said...

We are so lucky to have Steph has our daughter (in-law)! She is going to be a wonderful Mommy and the love she has for Bryce is beyond measure! Love, Linda